The Biggest and Most Evil Plan Ever - Transcript

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Chapter 18 - The Biggest And Most Evil Master Plan Ever

Angle on Oddity INC

Jameson (on phone)

“Yes, thank you Ex-Lord! You’ll have them delivered here? Perfect!”

Cut inside, Safety Ninja and Anne are slouching

Safety Ninja

“So once Jameson gets his company shut down, where are you gonna work?”

Anne

“Maybe-“

Jameson

“HA HA HA!”

He bursts in

Jameson

“Oh-ho! This is good, Malcom doesn’t stand a chance! I’ll crush his pathetic company once and for all with this plan!”

Safety Ninja

“Or maybe you could consider signing his contract and merging our companies? Just a thought?”

Jameson

“I’m not signing anything from that demon-haired crook!”

Safety Ninja

“I get you’re mad about him firing you... seventeen years ago, but that’s no reason to-“

Jameson (waving him down)

“Yes it is! Now I’ve prepared this presentation for my master plan!”

He clicks a remote, causing a screen to begin showing a PowerPoint Presentation (as he talks, the slides change)

Jameson

“My plan to destroy Malcom! First, let’s talk about Malcom! Actually... that’s pretty dumb, we already know who he is... anyway, I put together a list of weaknesses that he has. As you can see here! Next up- (click, doesn’t work) next u- (clicks, doesn’t work) NEXT! (Click, works) Ah yes, we will be using the weapons given to us by Ex-Lord to attack the tower! HA HA HA!”

Anne

“Do I have to?”

Jameson

“Yes...”

Intro plays

Angle on Randoms INC

Inside the lobby, the whole gang (including Shade & Lily) are messing with things

Malcom

“Alright! We should be done redecorating the lobby in about... two hours!”

Alex

“You say that like it’s a good thing! That’s two more hours of work, that I could be spending doing literally anything else!”

Malcom

“If you wanna run this co-“

Alex

“I don’t”

Malcom

“Well... fair point... I guess...”

Lily

“Hey Timothy, I gotta go to the restroom”

Tim

“Oh, their down the hall, to the left!”

Alex

“That was oddly formal...”

Tim

“I mean, she did open our first conversation with ‘Hey, I’m Lily’”

Alex

“So? Everyone does that?”

Tim

“That’s what they want you to think!”

Lily

“Thank you!”

Lily walks off

In the hall, she smiles evilly and her eyes glaze over (reminding the audience that she is being controlled by Warwick)

Lily

“Now to find that gem!”

Back in the lobby, Malcom’s reading a newspaper

Tim

“Hmm... can I hang a spatula here? Yes or no?”

Alex

“What do you think?”

Malcom

“Whoa! Ricardio’s been arrested!”

Tim

“What?! Really?”

Malcom

“Yeah! And- wait no, he bribed the guards to let him out... brilliant...”

Tim

“Oh, where is he now?”

Malcom

“Says here he-“

Alex walks off

Alex

“Geez! These headaches are getting worse and worse! What’s causing them?”

Shade appears

Shade

“Dude, stop talking to yourself!”

Alex

“I wasn’t, okay I probably was to be honest... I started getting these hecking headaches! They won’t stop and they just get worse!”

Shade

“Okay... why don’t you do something about it?”

Alex

“That’s it! Remember when we brewed that potion awhile back?”

Shade

“The love potion?”

Alex

“Yeah, I wonder if there’s a potion for clearing massive headaches...”

Shade

“Only one way to find out!”

Alex

“Yeah!”

They run off

Paul walks in, to see them run

Paul

“Well... okay...”

Cut to the roof a building which is near Randoms

Jameson, Safety Ninja and Anne are standing there

Jameson

“Alright, we will enter through the vents, then Safety Ninja, you will unleash the flesh eating spiders!”

Safety Ninja (defiantly)

“NO! NO SPIDERS! I HATE SPIDERS!”

Jameson

“Fine, we’ll use the termites!”

Safety Ninja

“Or, we could TAKE MALCOM’S DEAL!”

Jameson

“I’m starting to think that you don’t know how vengeance works...”

Anne

“What do I do?”

Jameson

“Follow my lead! Let’s get revenging!”

Safety Ninja

“I hate my job... so... much...”

Jameson

“Let’s play with Ex-Lord’s toys!”

They grappling hook to Randoms’ roof

Jameson

“Let me introduce you to the vents! We go way back the vents and I... used to be close friends... ah those were the days... alright, get into the dark metal hole”

They squeeze in

Safety Ninja

“This is tight!”

Jameson

“Quit squeezing!”

Anne

“Who’s breathing down my neck?!”

Jameson

“Yes”

Back to Lily

She’s walking through a hall

She presses a button on the wall and a ladder descends

Lily

“So that’s where your keeping it eh? Nice”

She climbs it

She enters a wide room, with the gem resting on a pedestal on the other side of the room

She begins to walk

Suddenly giant machine guns, laser blasters and other horrors arise, all aiming at Lily

She smirks

They fire, she dodges pretty incredibly (controlled by Warwick)

She uses throwing-stars to deactivate to the weapons

She approaches the gem

It’s pedestal raises, other pedestals raise around it

Lily

“Looks like we have a challenge!”

With Alex and Shade, they’re flipping through the potion book

Alex

“Okay, found a headache cure! Hopefully this’ll solve my problems!”

Shade

“What if it kills you?!”

Alex

“It’s possible, let’s see... we need this stuff!”

He already has all the ingredients

Alex

“Shade, you son-of-a-gun!”

They begin putting the ingredients in

Cut to a hallway

Jameson pops out of the vents, followed by Safety Ninja and Anne

Jameson

“HA HA HA! WE MADE IT IN!”

Safety Ninja covers his mouth

Safety Ninja

“Do you want us caught?”

Jameson

“Right”

Anne

“Where’s Malcom?”

Safety Ninja

“I bet that he-“

Jameson

“This way!”

He runs off

Jameson

“Never mind! That is a wall!”

Back to the lobby

Malcom and Tim are still working

Malcom

“What do you think of beige?”

Jameson breaks in

Jameson

“Malcom! Come out and pla-a-ay!”

Malcom

‘Oh... Jameson, hi”

Jameson

“Hi? HI? I AM ABOUT TO KILL YOU AND YOU SAY HI?!”

Malcom

“Yep, checks out”

Jameson

“Safety Ninja! Termites! Now!”

Safety Ninja (carelessly)

“Oops, I didn’t bring them”

Jameson

“You- whatever! Then we fight with brute force!”

Malcom

“Why would y-“

Jameson rushes at Malcom with a saw (he had it in his cape)

Tim jumps in the way, holding a decorative sword

Malcom

“Okay, this is happening now...”

He snaps, the Blade of Anubis flies into his hands

Malcom

“Take on Safety Ninja, Tim!”

Tim

“You got it!”

Tim runs to Safety Ninja

Safety Ninja

“Fine...”

Safety Ninja takes out a katana

Him and Tim clash

Anne

“I guess I’ll... stand here then... okay...”

The fight continues for awhile until suddenly Alex and Shade burst in

Alex

“Guess who cured his headache! (Notices the battle) oh...”

Shade

“You want a sword?”

Alex

“Yeah...”

Shade turns into a sword

Shade

“You’re welcome!”

Alex runs and defends Tim from Safety Ninja, who destroyed Tim’s fake sword

Tim

“Alex!”

Alex

“Me!”

They keep fighting

With Lily, she made it to the top

She is finally about to grab the gem

The pedestals shoot back into the ground, knocking her off

Lily

“Grr...”

She walks towards the gem, but nothing is happening

Lily

“Hmm...”

She grabs it

Lily

“Uh...”

The door slams shut, the ceiling begins closing in

Lily

“Agh!”

She looks frantically, finally seeing the window

She breaks through it and jumps out

She is plummeting

Lily drinks a potion from her pocket quickly,

Her fall slows, she lands on the ground softly

Lily

“Target acquired...”

She walks off, clearly headed for the sorcerors’ kingdom (we need dramatic music here to emphasize how important this moment is)

Back to the battle

Safety Ninja and Anne are defeated, all three heroes are fighting Jameson

Malcom

“This “plan” isn’t working!”

Jameson

“Yes it is! You are a fool!”

Malcom

“*sigh* why don’t you just take the deal, we could spare so much further strife...”

Jameson

“NO!”

He pushes the three off of him

He begins running to the window

Jameson

“Further  strife is my whole thing! I’m Jameson Mameson! THE GREATEST ENEMY OF RANDOMS INC! But after I’m done with you, that’ll change... because I’ll be THE LEADER OF RANDOMS INC! HA HA H-“

BANG!

He’s been hit by a frying pan

Zoom out, it was Safety Ninja

The trio looks shocked

Safety Ninja

“I’m dreadfully sorry everyone...”

Malcom

“That”

Alex

“Was”

Tim

“Amazing!”

Safety Ninja

“Not really, Jameson’s gonna lose his company any day now, meaning me and Anne will be out of a job... he’s gotta sign that merger, or else we’re doomed!”

Anne walks over

Anne

“Yeah... I wish we worked here, you’re mentally stable!”

Safety Ninja

“Very true, that is a perk”

Malcom

“I still have that contract here somewhere...”

He opens a drawer

Malcom

“Here we are! (Reading) Merge Between Randoms INC and Oddity INC! Just sign here, Safety Ninja”

Safety Ninja pulls out a pen

Jameson gets up

Jameson

“SAFTEY NINJA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

Safety Ninja

“Someone’s gotta watch the company! It clearly won’t be you! So I’ll do it myself!”

Anne

“Woo!”

Jameson

“You little BACKSTABBER! I thought you were on my side!”

Safety Ninja

“I am! This will benefit our future! Can’t you let go of some petty, childish grudge and see that! If you don’t do this, we’ll end up having to leave! Just like Malcom made you leave! You’re becoming what you hate!”

Jameson

“No I’m- uh-“

Everyone looks at him

Jameson

“I say... NIX!”

He pulls out a spooky robot

Malcom

“What the!”

Jameson

“Like him? He was a gift from Ex-Lord! Take them down l’il J! HA HA HA!”

The little robot pulls out all sorts of weapons

Malcom nods at Tim and Alex

Malcom

“Ready?”

They grunt

The fight goes on, the good guys are winning somehow

Jameson

“C’mon! Hit them!”

It does

Jameson

“Woo!”

They keep wrestling until finally Malcom final blows it!

Malcom

“*panting* so... about that contract?”

Jameson looks petrified

Malcom walks over to him, furious

Jameson cowers

Malcom extends his hand

Malcom

“Last chance”

Jameson

“Well- I um... *sigh* let’s see that contract...”

Cut, it is now later. Jameson is signing the contract

Malcom

“And done! Welcome back Jameson!”

Anne and Safety Ninja

“We get to keep our jobs!”

Malcom

“Well glad that’s over”

Jameson

“For now”

Alex

“What?”

Jameson

“What?”

Malcom

“Wow... I’m tired... today was eventful... speaking of which it’s 10:34! Everyone to bed, right now, it’s a work-night!”

Angle on the tower from the outside, we just hear voices

Tim

“Goodnight Alex and Malcom!”

Malcom and Alex

“Goodnight!”

Shade

“Goodnight! Malcom and Tim and Alex!”

The trio

“Goodnight Shade!”

Jameson

“Goodnight Malcom!”

Malcom

“Oh right, you’re here now...”

Jameson

“HA HA HA! Yep!”

Safety Ninja

“Turn out the lights!”

Jameson

“Fine!”

Alex

“Why are you in our room?”

Jameson

“*chuckles*”

Alex (creeped out)

“That is not an answer...”

Door knock

Cut to the lobby

Malcom opens the door

Malcom

“What is it?! It’s four in the morning!”

Silence, shadowy figures are there

Malcom

“Uh-“

The leader steps up, illuminated by the inside light, it’s revealed to be Warwick

Warwick

“Nice to see you again, Malcom!”

THE END