Tucker - Transcript

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Chapter 23 - Tucker

Angle on Randoms INC. Cut inside and we see Alex walking down the halls

Alex

“TIM! Where is he, I’ve been searching all day!”

Nick is leaning on the wall behind him

Nick

“Stop talking to yourself, ho ho”

Alex

“I was talking to you, but now I just seem weird... where is he?”

Alex stops in front of the Creature Department

Alex

“Maybe... he’s in there for some reason...”

He enters, and sees a cage open. He approaches the cage only to see a hedge

Alex

“AGH! Not this again!”

Alex is about to walk off, but after thinking for a second he decides to enter (just for the heck of it)

After entering, he walks through the purple trees, trips over a purple sheep, then looks up to see... Tim shooting lasers at a target, Tucker right behind him

Tucker

“Nice work Tim! You’re really improving on your- *notices Alex* uh...”

Tim

“What? *turns* Oh hey Alex! Wait... UH-“

Intro Plays

Alex

“What is happening here?!”

Tim

“I’m... kinda training to become a magic user...”

Alex

“MAGIC USER?! Have our previous experiences taught you NOTHING?!”

Tim

“That’s a trick question”

Alex

“We literally fought against the most powerful magic user ever two months ago. New flash, he wasn’t nice”

Tucker

“*chuckles* Alex, buddy, Warwick was the second most powerful magic user ever, and once I’m done with Tim here, he’ll be the third!”

Tim

“Yeah! You have nothing to worry about!”

Alex

“Whatever, if anything happens to Tim I’m going to bust out the hedge clippers”

Alex walks off

Tucker

“Your brother isn’t the brightest bulb in the box is he?”

Tim

“He’s way smarter than me!”

Tucker

“No I meant- whatever, let’s continue your training with a simple task”

Tim

“Mm, mm, wazzit?!”

Tucker

“One of my sheep is in the woods, retrieve him and defeat any obstacles in your way!”

Tim

“Got it teach!”

Tim runs off

He runs through the woods, some holographic monsters pop up, but Tim manages to defeat them with small light beams (nothing too fancy yet)

He spots the sheep

Tim

“Alright you wooly Wilbert, time to go home!”

Tim hears an all-too-familiar chuckle from behind him, causing him to freeze

He turns to see Ex-Lord, looming over him

Ex-Lord

“Well well well, magic training huh? Nice *chuckle*”

Tim (terrified)

“W-w-what do you want?!”

Ex-Lord

“Same thing as last time, to burn Randoms INC to the ground!”

Tim tries blasting a light beam at him, but can’t manage to do it. Ex-Lord just laughs at him

Ex-Lord

“Wow, somehow despite the fact that you are now training in combat, you’re still... well... a mess...”

Ex-Lord turns and walks away

Tim

“OH NO YOU DON’T!”

Tim runs after him through the trees, only for him to stop, and punch Tim in the face, knocking him down

Tim

“Agh!”

Ex-Lord

“Nice try, little guy”

Ex-Lord vanishes

Tim

“No...”

Tucker

“What... on... EARTH WAS THAT?!”

Tim jumps up, Tucker walks over to him

Tim

“Uh, sir, I didn’t-“

Tucker

“What’s the point of simulating your fears if you aren’t going to overcome them?!”

Tim

“Well I- wait you made Ex-Lord appear?”

Tucker

“Yup”

Tim

“Oh wow... look, I’m terrified of Ex-Lord, he made quite an impression on me... in that cold sewer, plotting revenge for some unknown thing Malcom did... he’s something from a nightmare!”

Tucker

“Hmm... your fear of him seems to be blocking your abilities too. I noticed you couldn’t blast him”

Tim

“Well-“

Tucker

“Tim, the only way to overcome fear, is to face it head on!”

Tim

“Buh?”

Tucker

“Come on now, WE ARE FINDING AND DEFEATING EX-LORD!”

Tim

“YES! Wait what-”

Cut to Lily sitting in the lobby, writing something in a spiral notebook

Alex walks in, sees Lily, then does a double take

Lily

“You okay?”

Alex

“Uh... yeah”

Lily

“Cool”

She keeps writing

Alex

“So... whatcha writing?”

Lily blushes

Lily

“Nothing”

She slams her notebook shut

Alex

“Okay... why were you writing it here?”

Lily (flustered)

“Who doesn’t write in... places that they like... writing at.... its actually a compliment, you should be very flattered”

Alex raises an eyebrow

Lily

“OKAY FINE! Don’t tell anyone!”

Hard cut to Tim and Alex’s room, Alex and Lily are sitting in front of one another

Lily

“This is my greatest secret... and pride and joy... so ever since the... uh... Warwick incident”

Alex

“Oh, you mean when he threatened you, forced you to steal a magical relic from Malcom, ending with you getting controlled by him, and you nearly broke your friendship with me and Tim? Is that what you meant?”

Lily looks annoyed, flustered, and slightly awkward

Lily (pretending to be happy)

“Yep! That’s the one!”

Alex

“Kay, just making sure

Lily

“Anyway after the... trauma... I took up a new hobby...”

Alex

“What’s that?”

Lily

“*sigh* (mumbling) Galactic Conflict fanfiction”

Alex

“WHAT?! Oh I have to read!”

Lily

“What?! No one’s read it yet!”

Alex

“At least tell me about it!”

Lily

“Eeeeeeegh- mmmmmmmmmm- okay fine! Basically it’s an (air quotes) AU where Lord Zenith never died, so he got to live as a good parent to Jack and Tulip Dayslider...”

Alex

“That sounds amazing! Why don’t you show me?”

Lily

“Because you’re very... Uh”

Alex

“Very what?”

Lily

“Critical?”

Alex

“Give me the notebook”

Brief pause

Lily

“Fine...”

She hands it to him, he opens it and starts reading

Back with Tim and Tucker (aka the important stuff), they are in Central Park, trying to find the sewer that leads to Ex-Lord’s base. Tucker’s making a bit of a scene, people look terrified in the background

Tucker

“Hmm, you said he was here?”

Tim (dryly)

“Yeah... hey Tucker, I’m not sure this is smart...”

Tucker

“Rule No. 1 of magic. Fear is the fastest path to corruption. If Ex-Lord really is your greatest fear, then we gotta beat him if you want to become a magic user”

Tim

“Yeah I guess... but-“

Tucker

“Hey, I found the sewer!”

Tim trots over. Tucker found it alright, the same one from episode 15 (The Dealer)

Tucker

“Wanna go in?”

Tim

“Yeah...”

Tucker

“Tim, you have to stop Ex-Lord if you-“

Tim

“I know”

Hard cut, they are now inside the sewers

Tim

“Ugh, horrible memories... horrible... traumatizing... memories”

Tucker

“Good. There’s the door Tim!”

Sure enough, the door to Ex-Lord’s hideout lies ahead

Tucker

“Get ready”

Tucker uses magic to power up his hands. Tim makes a wisp of smoke, which vanishes quickly

They break down the door, shouting. Then notice it’s empty. No one in sight, messy desks, cobwebs everywhere

Tucker

“Huh, that sucks... where is he?”

Tim

“I don’t think he lives here anymore? Look at the cobwebs... I mean, he was a creep, so it’s not too out of the question, but-“

Tucker

“I can find out instantly”

Tucker blinks

Tucker

“HOLY SHEEP! He hasn’t been here in months!”

Tim

“What?! Do you have his footprints? Trail?! Anything?!”

Tucker

“No... I have something better... a bro...”

Dramatic music stinger

Tim

“You have a brother?”

Tucker

“A really close friend”

Another dramatic music stinger

Tucker

“Kinda close...”

Back with Alex and Lily. Alex finishes reading, and hands the notebook back to Lily

Lily

“So... uh... thoughts?”

Alex

“Lily... this is INCREDIBLE! It felt so passionate, and natural, and- holy cow! It’s too good to be fanfiction!”

Lily

“Really?”

Alex

“Yes absolutely!”

Lily (skeptically)

“Really?”

Alex

“YES!”

Lily

“Huh... well, so what! These aren’t even my characters”

Alex

“But they could be! If you switched out the names, we’d have one heck of a story on our hands! We could even publish it!”

Lily

“WHAT?! Who would publish this?!”

Alex

“Hmm... I know exactly who!”

Hard cut, they’re at a book fair

Alex

“Behold!”

Lily

“Whoa!”

Alex

“See him? That’s J. C. Holling!”

Lily looks across the room, to see a dude at a desk accepting books, and signing books

Alex

“He used to be a legendary author. Now he helps struggling authors! He owns a publishing company now see?”

Lily looks excited

Lily

“So we’re talking to him?!”

Alex

“Yes”

Lily

“AW YEAH! THANKS ALEX!”

She hugs him, he blushes a little

Alex

“Uh-Huh”

They begin walking over to J. C. Holling. Cut over to him accepting a book from a teenaged dude

J. C. Holling

“You wrote something huh?”

Teen

“That’s right”

J. C. Holling

“Well, I’ll be sure to take a look at it”

Teen

“Cool”

He walks off

J. C. Holling

“You forgot to give me your- Ah, oh well, moment’s gone”

Alex and Lily walk up

J. C. Holling

“You wrote something?”

Lily

“Uh, here”

She hands it to him

J. C. Holling

“Thank you!”

He begins reading, Alex and Lily look nervous

Back with Tim and Tucker, they enter a pub

Tim

“Whoa, seedy”

Tucker

“My contact lives here, ah there he is”

Tucker indicates a dude in the corner, it’s literally the mayor

Tim

“Wait what?”

Tucker

“Professional Blond Man”

Professional Blond Man

“Tucker, I’ve been waiting for like seventeen minutes, I’m a busy man, pubs are scary”

Tucker

“Okay geez, we need info on Ex-Lord, heard of him?”

Tim

“Yeah, are you gonna help my associate?”

Tucker

“Associate?”

Professional Blond Man

“Ex-Lord... oh! Oh... uh... yeah I’ve heard of him... and used his services...”

Tim looks astonished (makes a sound like “hggnh”)

Professional Blond Man

“What can I say? The guy knows his weaponry, plus he made me a massage chair, so win-win”

Tucker

“So that’s the reason he hasn’t been arrested yet”

Professional Blond Man

“Yup”

Tucker

“You’re a horrible mayor”

Professional Blond Man

“No I’m a great mayor! See my pin? THAT MAKES ME PATRIOTIC!”

Tucker

“NO IT DOESN’T!”

Tim

“Guys! Can we focus please?”

Professional Blond Man

“Fine, you’re both very rude, but fine. Here’s Ex-Lord’s address, just outside city limits”

He writes it on a paper slip, Tim and Tucker read it

Tucker snaps his fingers and the paper burns

Professional Blond Man

“AGH!”

Tucker

“This never happened”

Tucker and Tim leave

Professional Blond Man

“YOU’RE WELCOME!”

Back with Alex and Lily, J. C. Holling is still reading the book

Alex

“Is it weird he’s reading the whole book while a bunch of people are in line?”

Lily

“Yeah”

J. C. Holling

“Actually no, I live here, some of the people here have waiting in line for days”

Alex and Lily turn around, only to see that a tent and campfire is pitched at one point, with five people all chatting

Lily

“Huh... how’d we get up here so fast?”

Alex

“I paid some people to move”

J. C. Holling

“Also I finished this... and think WE’VE GOT A POTENTIAL BEST SELLER ON OUR HANDS!”

Alex and Lily

“Whaaaaat?!”

J. C. Holling

“We gotta publish this at once, follow me! *shouts* ON BREAK!”

The line groans

Lily

“Sorry!”

They all run off

Montage of books being copied, advertised, put in stores, and being read by teens to young adults

Cut to J. C. Holling’s office

Alex

“Wow, that was fast, it’s been like eighteen minutes”

J. C. Holling

“I get things done, now Lily, let’s talk about your success”

Lily

“Okay”

J. C. Holling

“You wrote a masterpiece, something that’ll be craved for years!”

Lily

“Oh I do like that”

J. C. Holling

“But... I admit... it could use a little something else...”

Lily

“What?”

J. C. Holling

“You wanna know I’ve maintained my fortune? Two words... film adaption”

Lily flushes

Lily

“Film adaption... like a movie?”

J. C. Holling

“That’s right!”

Lily

“A movie... uh... you really think that’s a good idea?”

J. C. Holling

“I know it’s a good idea, let’s discuss the details! You have a favorite director?”

They start talking, while Alex looks at them suspiciously

Cut back to the important stuff, Tim and Tucker are approaching a warehouse on a hill. Some people in beanies are working outside.

Gruff guy with a clipboard

“Alright weasels! Boss says we gotta get these crates inside by 9:30, any complaints?”

Worker

“No”

Gruff guy with a clipboard

“Good, get to it losers”

Tim and Tucker sneak past these guys

Tim

“Who were they?”

Tucker

“You really think Ex-Lord works alone? They do all the hard stuff”

Tim

“Oh... huh...”

Tucker

“Ex-Lord is a creep, a violent creep, he probably threatened them or manipulated them... either way it’s not good”

Tim

“Yeah... let’s split up”

Tucker

“What! Are you daft?!”

Tim

“K, first of all that’s not a real word. Second, you said I need to overcome my fears myself! If you’re behind me when I fight Ex-Lord... then... I’m not really overcoming anything am I?”

Tucker frowns

Tucker

“Clever little guy... don’t know why Malcom said you were the less intelligent one”

Tim

“He said that? Aw...”

Tucker

“Ok... good luck”

Tim

“Thanks!”

He runs off, but Tucker flicks a tiny object onto Tim’s back

Cut to Tim, walking around the back of the warehouse. He turns around and starts walking backwards to make sure he isn’t being followed. He backs right into Ex-Lord

Tim’s face drops, as he slowly turns around

Ex-Lord

“Lost?”

Tim looks utterly horrified

Ex-Lord chuckles

Tim

“Ex-Lord! My Nemises... uh... I have been training to be a magic user, and must finally defeat you if I wish to continue!”

Ex-Lord

“Defeat me? You’re gonna have to make an appointment for that!”

Ex-Lord turns around and starts walking away

Ex-Lord

“Also, Nemises? We fought once”

Tim looks furious, and blasts a blue fireball at Ex-Lord

Tim

“*gasp* I DID THAT WOW!”

Ex-Lord

“You weren’t kidding? Well, this’ll be fun!”

Ex-Lord runs at Tim, pulling out a dagger, and a high-tech gun of some sort,

Tim

“AGH!”

Back with Alex and Lily

J. C. Holling

“So it’s settled? I’ll make the call now and we can get a movie deal by tomorrow!”

Lily (uneasy)

“That’s great”

Alex

“Not great”

They both look up at him, he’s playing on his phone

Alex

“Mr. Holling, I figured out your game”

J. C. Holling (nervously)

“What are you talking about?”

Alex

“You own the rights to her book, meaning you’ll get all the profit! The movie would only amplify that, meaning more money! That’s what it’s about!”

J. C. Holling

“Well you’re too late! I already made a fortune off her book, and I’ll make a fortune off the movie too!”

Alex

“Really?”

Alex turns the phone around to reveal he recorded everything

J. C. Holling

“What...”

Alex

“Yeah, I learned a few things in my time, ever wonder why Robert Eager lost such a big following?”

J. C. Holling

“I’ve been cancelled before, but I always return! I’m the greatest author of all time! I’M-“

Lily

“Bye!”

He and Lily leave

J. C. Holling

“Well... darn”

Outside, Alex and Lily are walking to their respective homes

Lily

“Y’know Alex, you’re kind of a genius”

Alex

“Nah, horrible people can spot horrible people”

Lily looks surprised (and a bit sad) at this self deprecation

Alex

“Well... bye Lily, I’m gonna go upload that footage to the internet”

Lily

“Yeah... bye!”

They separate

Back to the Tim and Ex-Lord fight, Tim dodges Ex-Lord’s gun blasts

Ex-Lord

“Can’t run forever little guy”

Tim

“I totally can!”

Ex-Lord

“Everyone gets tired eventually *chuckles*”

Tim

“He’s right, curse my tiny legs!”

Ex-Lord fires a blast just right, and it hits Tim in the back, causing him to fall over

Tim

“GAH!”

Ex-Lord stands over him

Ex-Lord

“How did you think this was gonna end up? You came waltzing into my joint, and you think you can live to tell the tale? Cute”

???

“Dang straight!”

Ex-Lord

“Huh?”

Tucker lands dramatically behind Ex-Lord

Ex-Lord

“WHAT THE- *ahem* *chuckles* Tucker... we meet again...”

Tucker

“We’ve never met, also you’re dead if you lay a finger on the kid”

Tim looks up, in shock

Ex-Lord considers his options for a moment

Ex-Lord

“Nah... *chuckles* keep him, get out of here”

Tucker

“Good, LEAVE!”

Ex-Lord walks away

Tim

“Ugh... WHY DIDN’T YOU LET ME FIGHT?!”

Tucker just looks at him

Tim

“Okay fair enough...”

Tucker

“Let’s go home”

Tim

“*sigh* okay...”

They turn and start making their way

Tucker

“Quick question though, are you still scared of Ex-Lord?”

Tim

“I’m- wait... NO I’M NOT! WOW! YOU DID IT!”

Tucker

“We’ll learn Rupture puncture on Tuesday”

Tim

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT IS BUT IT SOUNDS AWESOME!”

THE END