Rubbing Shoulders - Transcript

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Chapter 6 - Rubbing Shoulders

Angle on Randoms INC, poppy music is blaring out, limos parked outside and people are walking into the building

Cut to the inside, it’s all been decorated

Malcom and Tim are standing in the corner watching people pour in

Tim

“Aw man, I love it when we throw parties! Always a good mingle!”

Malcom

“I’ve invited Laura Boyer! She owns the newest of many rival paranormal investigation companies, I’m gonna attempt to make a deal that’ll prevent her from interfering with us!”

Tim chuckles

Alex runs over

Alex

“Guys! The Boyers are here!”

Malcom

“And I’m out! Wish me luck boys!”

Laura is standing with her servants

Malcom

“Welcome Laura Boyer! Where’s your husband?”

Laura (dismissively)

“He mysteriously vanished... (bored) how are you?”

Malcom

“Fine, Fine... uhh... want a mint?”

Intro plays

Back with Alex and Tim

Alex

“I thought Shade would be here...”

Tim

“He’s probably just disguised as someone else, doesn’t want to be kidnapped again”

Random Person (obviously Shade)

“You got that right!”

Jameson and Safety Ninja enter

Safety Ninja

“Sir, please don’t cause a scene! You’ve damaged my- your reputation enough!”

Jameson

“Yeah yeah yeah, where’s the buffet? Excuse me!”

Safety Ninja (sarcastically)

“Wonder where this is going”

Back to Alex and Tim

Tim

“Ugh! Jameson and Safety Ninja, what’re those creeps up to this time”

Alex

“I don’t knooooooaah!”

He has spotted Lily

Romantic music starts playing

Alex

“Uuuuuuh”

Tim

“I don’t, huh? Who’s she?”

Alex

“No clue, but I- I want to talk to her despite my senses telling me not to...”

Tim

“Dude, I’ll go start talking to her and then I’ll introduce you and then you guys can talk!”

Alex

“Really?”

Tim

“Of course!”

Alex

“Thanks Tim!”

Tim walks over to Lily

Lily

“Oh, hey”

Tim

“Hi! My name is Tim! What’s yours?”

Lily

“Oh I’m Lily, wazzup?”

Tim

“Oh I’m good thanks! Enjoying the party? I helped set it up!”

Lily

“Whoa really? It’s pretty impressive!”

Tim

“Thanks!”

Lily

“So what’re you into?”

Tim

“I like food?”

Lily

“Who doesn’t?”

Zoom out to reveal Alex watching

Alex (to himself)

“Thank you Tim! Thank you!”

Cut to Jameson and Safety Ninja (Jameson is pouring the punch bowl’s contents down his throat)

Safety Ninja

“When’s my date getting here?”

Jameson (absolutely shocked)

“You have a date?”

Safety Ninja

“Yeah, Anne the receptionist! You were there!”

Flashback, inside Oddity INC Saftey Ninja is walking over to a female receptionist while Jameson eats corn chips loudly near

Safety Ninja

“Uh, hey Anne? Wanna go to the Randoms party with me?”

Anne (distracted)

“Yeah sure whatever”

Safety Ninja

“Score!”

Jameson

“These chips are AMAZING!”

Back to the present

Jameson

“Huh... those chips were amazing... did that actually happen?”

Safety Ninja

“Yes!”

Jameson

“Who’d ‘a thought? I sure wouldn’t have! HA HA HA!

Safety Ninja false laughs

Jameson

“Now then, I have to go down the entire punchbowl. Wait!”

Jameson has just spotted Malcom and Laura arguing

Malcom

“It’s a fundamental reason!”

Laura

“How many people try to kill and rob you that you need me to sign a contract?!”

Malcom

“At the moment... two, but that’s besides the point!”

Jameson

“Who is he arguing with? I’m supposed to be his arch-enemy!”

Safety Ninja

“He makes a lot of deals man, I’m sure it’s nothing!”

Jameson

“No! It’s the beginning, relationships always take time to develop! Soon they will be arch enemies and I’ll be left in the dust again! My revenge won’t be nearly as satisfying!”

Safety Ninja

“I’m sure it’s- and he’s gone... great...”

Alex is still watching Tim and Lily chatting enthusiastically, he’s bored though

Alex

“What is taking so long?”

Tim walks over

Tim

“I’ll be right back!”

Tim starts pouring drinks

Alex

“Oh you just fell in love with her”

Tim

“Yeah, I just fell in love with her... but you know, we really hit it off! She’s a year older than us, it’s so cool! Also, y’know, slightly important for relationships, but we’re both interested in the same-“

Alex

“Shh! You said you’d help me!”

Tim

“Oh come on! You didn’t like her because of her personality! You looked at her from across a room for like ten seconds!”

Alex

“Well yeah! First impressions are everything!”

Tim

“Okay, whatever!”

Alex

“Tim if you go back over there-“

Tim starts stepping back

Alex

“Don’t you dare!”

Tim takes a few more steps

Tim

“I dare!”

He turns and walks away

Alex looks furious

Alex

“Okay! Desperate times call for desperate measures!”

Jameson walks over to Malcom and Laura

Jameson

“I-“

Malcom

“Thank gosh you’re here! This is Jameson Mameson, he’s the guy I’ve been telling you about!”

Laura

“Sup?”

Jameson shivers

Jameson

“Did it just get cold in here? Or what?”

Laura

“Okay, leave”

Jameson

“Fine!”

He walks off

Laura

“I’ll be right back”

Laura walks into a corner and activates an Earpiece

Laura

“How’s it going?”

Cut to a helicopter over Randoms Tower, it’s filled with tough looking soldiers

Soldier

“We are in position and awaiting your command!”

Back inside

Laura

“I’ll give it! Don’t you worry!”

Malcom (distance)

“Laura!”

Laura

“Talk to you later!”

Cut to Alex

Alex sneaks away from the party and goes through the door that leads into Randoms INC’s inner workings

Alex

“Ugh, I always get lost in here... (starts looking) Department of Potions... Department of Potions... BOOM! Found it!”

Alex starts walking towards the door leading to the Department of Potions when suddenly

Shade

“Hey Alex!”

Alex

“Agh! Geez Shade, we talked about personal space!”

Shade

“Sorry Al, sorry! Party’s that way!”

Alex

“Oh I’ll go back to the party, after I get my vengeance on Tim!”

Shade

“Wait, isn’t he your brother?”

Alex

“Family ties mean nothing when love is on the line!”

Shade

“Love? You looked at her from across a room for like ten seconds“

Alex

“SH! You wanna help or not?”

Shade

“Well, I do wanna help my best friend.... how can I be of assistance?”

Alex

“Follow me!”

Cut to Jameson and Safety Ninja looking moody

Jameson

“Grr...”

Safety Ninja

“Grr...”

Pan over to Malcom and Laura

Malcom (looking at watch)

“Oh look at the time, I gotta make my speech!”

He runs off

Laura’s phone beeps

Laura picks up her phone

Laura

“Stop texting me!”

Soldier

“We’re dropping now!”

Laura

“Heh, good! Make sure you get that ruby!”

Laura gets off her phone

Malcom is now onstage

Malcom

“Good evening everyone! We have an hour ‘till midnight, meaning this party is almost over! It’s dancing time!”

They all start dancing

Tim

“Uh, wanna dance?”

Lily

“Yeah alright”

Cut to Alex and Shade making a potion

Alex says an ingredient and Shade gives him it

Alex

“Weed of Annoyance”

Shade

“Here”

Alex

“Eye of Newton”

Shade

“Here”

Alex

“That should do it!”

Shade

“Yay! What is it?”

Alex

“Behold! The perfect love potion! Whoever gets splashed with this will instantly fall in love with the holder of the potion, aka me! MWA HA HA!”

Shade

“Oh, you’re gonna splash it on Tim’s “not girlfriend” so she’ll fall for you, no remorse that you may have ruined Tim’s future?”

Alex

“No remorse! His future doesn’t affect me!”

Alex puts the potion in a spray bottle and walks out

Shade

“This was a good plan... well, time to talk to my inner demons!”

Laura and Malcom are dancing (very passive-aggressively)

Laura

“Well, This has been a fun party”

Malcom

“Yes... very!”

Laura’s phone beeps

Laura

“I got to take this!”

Malcom

“It’s your soldier guy isn’t it?”

Laura

“What?”

Malcom

“Ugh! Come with me!”

They go into a security room

Cut into the security room

Malcom points at the monitor

Malcom

“Check”

Laura looks

Her soldiers are being crushed by extreme security measures

Laura looks furious

Malcom

“I deal with theft all the time, did you think I wouldn’t prepare for this? I doubled security! Tons of rivals were showing up!”

Laura

“Buh”

Malcom

“Honestly, you gotta at least be Jameson level for me to consider you a threat!”

Jameson bursts out from behind a plant

Jameson

“Ha! You hear that! I’m threatening!”

Silence

Malcom

“I suddenly don’t feel safe...”

Cut to the dance floor

Alex has his spray bottle

Alex

“Here we go, gotta hit... what’s her name? It doesn’t matter, here we- huh”

He sees Tim and Lily having fun together

Alex looks at the potion

Alex

“What am I doing? I gotta get rid of this thing!”

He sees Safety Ninja moping

Alex

“Hmm”

Alex walks to him

Alex

“Date didn’t show?”

Safety Ninja (moodily)

“Nope”

Alex hands him the potion

Alex

“Here, try this out on someone!”

Safety Ninja

“What? What am I supposed to do?”

Alex

“You’ll figure it out!”

Alex walks off

Laura plops near Safety Ninja

Safety Ninja lifts up the spray bottle

Laura

“Don’t even think about it!”

Alex walks over to Malcom

Malcom

“Bad night?”

Alex

“Meh, could’ve been worse. At least Tim’s having fun!”

Malcom

“Heh, yeah.”

Alex

“Why? You had a bad one?”

Malcom

“Quite the contrary, that was one of the most satisfying experiences of my life”

Alex

“*chuckles*”

Tim runs over

Tim

“You two, I made a new friend! Come meet Lily!”

Malcom

“Alright”

Alex

“Yeah okay”

They walk off

Cut to a wide shot of the dance floor

Fade to black

Cut to Lily in her room

Laura walks in

Laura

“Clean this place up!”

Lily

“I’ll do it tomorrow! That was fun!”

Laura

“Ugh, whatever! Hmm... this isn’t over Malcom!”

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