The House of Mameson - Transcript

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Chapter 47 - The House of Mameson

Angle on the RV, driving through the countryside

Cut inside to see the entire family singing along to the radio loudly. Well, almost. Malcom is sitting stiffly, driving.

Malcom

“Hey! Can we stop singing for a minute? We’re nearing BoomsBurg... I don’t wanna draw attention to ourselves”

Sally

“BoomsBurg? Didn’t you grow up in BoomsBurg?”

Malcom

“I lived there until I was eight...”

Tim

“Whoa! Baby Malcom’s hometown! HOLY COW THIS SOUNDS AMAZING!”

Malcom

“No! I have... bad memories... in BoomsBurg... involving my family...”

Alex

“Oh right, weren’t they kinda... controlling?”

Malcom

“Yeah...”

Lily

“Malcom! You never told me you had an awful parental situation too!”

Malcom

“Well... I did...”

Alex

“Well, if you don’t wanna spend much time there, we’ll be quiet”

They enter through a massive fabulous archway, the Silvas stay silent, as a ton of fancy gentlemen walk about on the sidewalks

Malcom drives inconspicuously, not meeting anyone’s eye

Alex

“Dang, they look intense...”

Malcom

“Mmm...”

Tim

“Hey Malcom, you feeling good?”

Malcom

“Well, I admit... not very pleasant thoughts being back here...”

His grip on the steering wheel tightens

Malcom

“So many... lectures about ethics, and paying your taxes... so much... salad... too much... salad... AND THE STUPID-“

THUD

Malcom looks up, he wasn’t paying attention and drove into a streetlight

Malcom

“Oh no...”

Malcom dashes outside

Malcom

“No!”

The front of the RV is damaged

The others walk out too

Lily

“Ah don’t worry Malcom! That’s not so bad!”

The streetlight falls onto the RV, shattering the glass, and denting the roof

Lily

“K never mind...”

??? (British)

“What’s this?”

Malcom turns, an older woman is watching them

??? (British)

“Deary me! You chaps look like you’ve got into a spot, eh?”

Malcom

“Uh... yeah...”

??? (British)

“I wouldn’t worry! I’m Olivia by the way!”

Malcom

“Nice to meet you Olivia, uh-“

Olivia

“Don’t worry about a thing, me and my husband will take care of your RV immediately”

Malcom

“Sure, thanks!”

Olivia

“Oh Joseph!”

A short, all too familiar man walks over

Joseph

“What’s going on dear? Oh... you...”

Malcom sees him, and becomes horrified. Sure enough, it’s Jameson’s father, Joseph Mameson

Joseph

“Been awhile, hasn’t it Malcom?”

Intro plays

Tim

“Wait, you guys know each other?”

Joseph

“Ha! My idiot son invited him to our family reunion! Safe to say, Malcom ruined an otherwise perfect day!”

Malcom

“How?! I wasn’t even there for very long!”

Joseph

“IT’S BAD ENOUGH I HAD TO DEAL WITH ONE AMERICAN ACCENT!”

Malcom

“Speaking of which... why are you here? In America?”

Joseph

“Vacation, we have a house here”

Olivia

“And you are all welcome to stay!”

Joseph

“OLIVIA!”

Olivia

“Oh man up Joseph! Their RV broke down, we can lend a spare bedroom”

Joseph

“Fine! Malcom, you and your family can stay for... a day, and that’s it!”

Malcom

“Understood”

Joseph snaps his fingers, some servants run over

Joseph

“Take the Mr. Silva to his quarters”

They grab him, and take him to his room. Maybe a musical number here, or a montage, involving everyone being wowed by the fancy stuff, while Malcom just seems exasperated with the whole situation.

Tim plops onto his bed

Tim

“This makes everything I’ve ever slept on before seem like... something really bad”

Lily

“Actually... this is a bit... on par with my old bed, maybe slightly worse”

Alex

“Dude, are you seriously trying to disillusion Tim? Let him have his bed!”

Tim

“LET ME HAVE IT!”

Lily

“Alright sorry!”

Sally

“Aw, you guys look comfy!”

Lily

“Yeah we’re comfy!”

A servant enters

Servant

“Master Mameson would like to invite you to a delectable banquet. Be there at 6:00 PM Sharp, be there!”

He leaves

Malcom

“Wait... Joseph Mameson invited us to a banquet? No one else thinks that’s off?”

Malcom turns to Tim and Alex

Malcom

“Nether of you?!”

Alex

“Meh, I feel like I’d see it if there was something fishy going on”

Tim

“Yeah! Maybe he just is trying to make up for how he treated you at the reunion!”

Sally

“Yeah calm down Malcom”

Malcom looks annoyed at this

Lily

“Uh, hey Malcom! Can I talk to you real quick?”

Malcom

“Sure”

Cut, Malcom and Lily are I’m the corner

Lily

“Look dude, I’m totally with you! This is sketchy as heck!”

Malcom

“I know right? He’s the worst! You saw how he treated us in town!”

Lily

“Yeah, awful!”

Malcom

“So you know what we gotta do?”

Lily

“What?”

Malcom

“UNCOVER THE TRUTH!”

Sally (offscreen)

“What?”

Malcom

“Nothing! (Back to Lily) let’s do it!”

They high five

Cut to the banquet, Joseph is eating in disgruntled silence, while Olivia is looking awkwardly at the Silvas

Olivia

“So, we looked at the RV, and the mechanic should have it fixed by tomorrow, so, you’ll be out of here in no time!”

Joseph

“That’s my favorite part of this plan”

Malcom

“Good soup”

Lily

“Very good!”

Tim

“I like it too! It opens my pores”

Sally

“Oh wow, I see that”

Lily

“So Joseph, why did you invite us to dinner? You hate us!”

Joseph

“I did it because my wife made me”

Olivia

“Uh, yes I did...”

Lily

“Suspicious...”

Malcom

“Yeah, totally”

Olivia

“What?”

Malcom

“Nothing!”

Olivia

“Oh, uh, okay”

Malcom

“So, mmm... where are we all sleeping?”

Olivia

“Spare bedroom is very available, it’s spacious too! Feel free to stay there!”

Malcom

“Okay thanks, let’s go kids!”

Tim

“Yay! Rich people sleeping!”

The Silvas walk off, and Olivia glances at Joseph. She leaves, and Joseph takes a small piece of paper from his suit, and examines it before smiling sinisterly

Cut to Malcom in bed, we zooms into his mind to see him running in a forest. He spots the rest of his family, and slides to stop himself

Malcom

“Guys run! It’s coming!”

Tim

“Oh hi Malcom!”

Lily

“What’s chasing you dude?”

Malcom

“It’s the-“

Suddenly, a massive eagle wearing Malcom’s tuxedo bursts from the forest

Malcom

“RUN!”

It screeches and chases them all

Tim

“I’m scared of birds!”

Alex

“MALCOM! EXPLAIN?!”

Sally

“Yeah! What gives?!”

Malcom

“I don’t know!”

The eagle screeches and attacks the Silvas, breaking the ground and dropping everyone into a pit

Malcom

“What the-“

The others all fade away

Malcom

“Huh... this doesn’t seem right... Uh... what’s going on?”

Zoom out, revealing the void is way larger than we thought

Malcom

“HELLO?!”

Cut back to reality, Malcom’s eyes jolt open, now blue. He hasn’t woken up... he’s in a trance of some sort...

Then we pan over to Tim, and enter his dream

Tim is in Randoms Tower... in Malcom’s office, behind the desk

Tim

“Ah, what a lovely day to be the CEO of Randoms INC!”

He exits the office, and struts down the hall

Safety Ninja and P-Sauce run over to him

Safety Ninja

“Hey! Mr. Silva! We have a massive problem in the potion’s department!”

Tim

“Really?”

P-Sauce

“Yeah! Some sludge has come to life and is currently attempting to tear apart the statue of Happy Pig Boy”

Tim

“But I love that statue!”

Safety Ninja

“We know! Will you help us fight it?”

Tim

“Of course, OR MY NAME ISN’T-“

The floor breaks, and Tim falls into the void

Tim

“Tim Silva? Umm... now I’m lonely...”

Back in reality, Tim’s eyes jolt open, same as Malcom. Not awake, but in a trance.

Pan over to Sally, who’s snoring loudly

We zooms into her head, to see atop a massive dragon... which is dead...

Sally

“Woo! Did you see that kids! I slayed a dragon by myself! Just the best mom ever!”

The kids appear, cheering for her

Sally

“Thank you, thank you! You’re too kind!”

Mayor Professional Blond Man arrives

Professional Blond Man

“Wow, you are so good at literally everything! Have a reward! Wait no, better yet, all of the awards! Even ones that have already been won! I’ll send my guys to go get them back!”

Sally

“I see nothing wrong with that!”

Professional Blond Man

“Me neither!”

Sally crashes through the ground

Sally

“So... those awards? Hello... great...”

Back in reality, you know what happens, moving onto Alex. We enter his mind to see him... in a cottage?

He wakes up, makes tea, drinks it, then writes something on a computer (a script, Alex’s hidden desired career), then he goes outside, mows the lawn, sits on a sunbed... which breaks through the ground as well... Alex looks around

Alex

“I was enjoying that...”

Back to reality, Alex does spook eye, then we pan over to Lily, and enter her mind. She’s on a romantic date with P-Sauce

Lily

“Wow! Dinner was a fantastic idea!”

P-Sauce

“I know right? I love homemade spaghetti!”

Lily

“Made it myself!”

They laugh together, than a giant robot appears above them. Lily and P-Sauce turn to look at it

Lily

“Of course...”

P-Sauce

“Well luckily we know what to do!”

They spin and transform into superheroes. P-Sauce has a pizza themed outfit, while Lily has a ninja themed one. They launch at the robot, before it knocks Lily through the ground and into the void

Lily

“WHERE’S MY HUNK?!”

Cut to reality, she is put in the trance as well. Then the door opens, and Joseph Mameson steps in

Joseph

“Knock knock Silva family! You have work to do...”

They get up obediently

Joseph

“Now, go to my office like good boys...”

They walk off

Joseph

“Perfect!”

Cut to the void, where Malcom is floating

Malcom

“This is sucky... THIS DREAM IS BORING!”

A gasp noise is heard, Malcom looks over to see Tim, Alex, Sally and Lily right there

Tim

“You aren’t supposed to be aware it’s a dream! Silly! Silly boy!”

Alex

“But it is a dream, you’re all dream people”

Tim

“No I’m real”

Lily

“Yeah! You’re all the fakes!”

Malcom

“Guys, this is a dark magic situation! We are all sharing the same dream!”

Sally

“Why?”

Malcom

“How should I know? Probably something to do with Joseph Mameson!”

Alex

“How do we-“

Tim

“Escape?!”

Malcom

“I￼￼ have a way, don’t worry! Uh... Y’know what, scratch that. This hasn’t happened to me before”

Tim

“Sad”

Alex

“So we’re trapped in this mind void forever?!”

Malcom

“At least it’s a mind void and not... something worse...”

Sally

“Like what?”

Malcom

“Well, anything! Check this out!”

Malcom snaps his fingers and cup of tea appears

Malcom

“You can make anything! Just try it!”

They all think really hard, and sure enough, objects appear

Alex

“Oh yeah, we did something similar to this before!”

Tim

“I was there!”

Lily

“Let’s have fun with this!”

She thinks really hard, and a massive colorful City is built before their eyes

Lily

“Beholding... DREAM CITY! Where perfection is in your grasp!”

Tim

“Whoa! Are those penguins shaped like penguins?! Can I touch them?”

Lily puts her arms on his shoulders

Lily

“Tim... go touch those penguins...”

Tim

“Eeeeeeee!”

He dashes off

Malcom

“Lily, this is all well and good, but... maybe we should focus on getting back to reality? We’re on a mission to Capital City, and I refuse to be stopped by the senile father of Jameson Mameson!”

Suddenly, a portal opens behind him, Malcom approaches it nervously

Tim

“Go in”

Malcom

“Easier said than-“

Alex runs through

Malcom

“Fine”

He walks through... and he’s in his body again, tied to a chair in front of Joseph Mameson’s desk. The man himself is behind it

Joseph

“Ah Malcom, good morning... I have questions for you...”

Malcom grimaces

Malcom

“What? You little-“

Joseph

“Where... is... my son?”

Malcom

“What?”

Joseph

“He said he worked for you, but I haven’t seen him since the reunion! He missed this year’s reunion, which he hasn’t done in years! Something’s seriously off... so... I ask you... where is he?”

Malcom

“H’boy... how do I even... explain this...”

Joseph looks eager

Malcom

“Well... Jameson is-“

The others look at him

Malcolm

“Actually an elite member of the company now! Top of the top! He wanted to go to the reunion, but my spooky Capitalist powers kept him behind, because he had paperwork! He’s actually currently there... by the way...”

Joseph

“Oh... well... good... glad to know he’s doing well... um... go back to bed...”

Cut to the bedroom, everyone is fast asleep, except Malcom.... he’s lying awake, thinking about Joseph... before eventually, he rolls off to sleep...

We cut to the Hedge Realm, Jessie is maneuvering a massive wooden platform

Jessie

“Where does this go?”

Tucker reveals himself

Tucker

“Over there, outskirts of the forest!”

Jessie nods and moves along... Tucker turns around

Tucker

“We can’t stop the Fatality Maw from arriving, but this might give us a chance at surviving...”

Jessie

“Wait what? That’s what this is about! Why can’t we just leave?”

Tucker

“Because... there’s one more person I need to finish working on, if there’s even a hope of my plan succeeding...”

He walks off, as Jessie looks on confused

Jessie

“You’re even cryptic to me! And I see the future!”

THE END