Student Rivalry - Transcript

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Chapter 40 - Student Rivalry

Establishing shot on the Randoms School, the bell rings, and we cut inside. Tons of students are walking into the halls, including Alex, Lily and P-Sauce

Alex

“Another test completed...”

P-Sauce

“I think I got most of the questions right... but then they had to ask about the cheese bandits...”

Lily

“Darn cheese bandits”

Alex

“Y’know, I’m actually feeling pretty confident! Guess we’ll find out how it went Monday huh?”

Lily

“Yup”

Paul and Sade are at the exit, saying goodbye to all the students

Shade

“Remember, turn in your homework in time! Nah I’m kidding! We don’t do that here!”

Paul chuckles

Paul

“Bad enough you have to do it during the day right? Why double it?”

Shade

“Memorization! We are amazing at running a school!”

Paul

“So good”

Cut to Randoms Tower, the family is eating breakfast next day

Malcom

“So, what‘s up with you two?”

Alex

“School?”

Malcom

“Yup, thought so”

Tim

“While you two were gone on Friday, I learned a cool trick I can do with my finger!”

He looks at his hand, realizing it’s a ball

Tim

“WHO DID THIS?!”

Malcom

“Tim!”

Tim

“Sorry father, existential crisis over!”

Malcom

“Now excuse me, it’s Monday. Randoms Elite meeting, and I’ve been looking forward to this one...”

He walks off

Tim

“Ooh, ominous”

Lily

“We should get going too, bye Tim!”

Tim

“Yay! Loneliness!”

Cut to the meeting room, everyone is gathered

Ricardio

“Malcom! About time you freaking made it! We’re bored!”

Sally

“So bored, so so so bored... is it bad that the word bored is interesting to me now?”

Jessie

“Yes... it’s boring... oh wow that is kinda interesting! Eh, maybe it’s fine”

Malcom

“Okay, Ricardio, you’re who I want to talk to”

Ricardio

“What about?”

Malcom

“The time machine that I found inside a shopping mall? Security cameras showed you throw it away”

Everyone gasps

Sally

“You what?!”

Tucker

“Reckless ignorance!”

Ricardio

“Uuuuuuh... oh crud...”

Intro plays

Cut back at the school, Alex and Lily arrive

Alex

“Alright, here we go! Let’s see how we did on that test?”

Lily

“Yup!”

P-Sauce walks past

P-Sauce

“Hey guys, bye guys!”

Lily

“Bye, you hunk of sauce! (To Alex) did you catch that? I can say that now! Cause we- we’re a thing now! We’re a... an item! Yep... an... an item... did you catch it?”

Alex

“Yep, got it”

Cut to the classroom, the teacher gives Alex and Lily their scores

Alex

“Yes! A- BABY!”

Lily

“B+... might be a record...”

Teacher

“Extra credit to our top student, Ash Pencost!”

Alex

“Ash who now?”

A student, obviously Ash, stands up a few seats in front of Alex

Ash

“Thank you for scoring me so highly, I really appreciate the love!”

Teacher

“Okay cool, sit back down”

Ash

“Yep, you got it!”

He plops back down

Alex

“Huh... I’ve literally never talked to that kid... what group is he in?”

Lily

“Loyalty I think, P-Sauce probably knows him!”

Alex

“Right, Yep... we’ll ask at lunch”

Lily

“Why are you... so... curious?”

Alex

“I mean, last time there was a supposedly smart kid... y’know, it wasn’t... it wasn’t great...”

Lily

“Fair point! That guy was the worst!”

She turns, Victor Hapston is right there, looking flustered

Lily

“Oh I am so sorry Victor!”

A little while later, everyone is exiting the classroom. Alex walks over to Ash Pencost.

Alex

“Hey, Ash right? Great work in there!”

Ash

“Oh, uh... right, well what do you expect? Top grades are kinda normal for me!”

Ash properly examines Alex

Ash

“Not that you’d understand that, would you Alexander Silva? Never got anything above an A-?”

Alex flushes

Alex

“Well I-“

Ash

“Oh that’s too bad! Keep it going sport, you’ll get it one day!”

Ash walks off

Alex

“YOU ARE LITERALLY YOUNGER THAN ME!”

Cut to the Randoms Elite, everyone is staring at Ricardio

Ricardio

“So look, the reason I- well the thing is- I was just going- uh...”

Malcom

“Before you go any further, is there a legitimate reason you stole the time machine?”

Ricardio

“Well, uh... I needed it for... reasons.... then I couldn’t figure out how to work it, so I threw it out!”

Jessie

“Like parenthood”

Ricardio

“What?”

Jessie

“Nothing”

Sally

“Funny, I have the reverse problem!”

Tucker

“I never bothered for... reasons...”

Tiny Turret chuckles

Malcom

“We are getting WAY off topic here! Ricardio, are you going to give me a straight answer?”

Ricardio

“Maybe not”

Malcom

“Okay, you’re fired!”

Ricardio freezes

Ricardio

“OKAY! I’ll tell you the whole- the entire story! Start to end! Something something, transition noises, wow I need to pee, see ya!”

He runs out

Malcom

“So Tucker, use magic to block the doors or something”

Tucker

“You got it”

Back at school, in the cafeteria

P-Sauce

“Hmm... Ash Pencost, well... he’s a wackily smart kid, but doesn’t get grades of any kind often, due to him being preoccupied with sports, or some stuff...”

Lily

“You looked so good when you said that!”

P-Sauce

“Aaaaaaaaye!”

Alex

“Hmm... sports ya say? Hmm....”

Cut outside, Ash Pencost is practicing some sport with the cool kids

Ash

“Okay now my right! RICK GO FASTER!”

Rick

“Sorry, I’m so... so tired... gimme a minute!”

He pants for an obscene amount of time

Ash

“You act like that’s your first time running like that!”

Rick

“It is! I’m new on the team!”

Ash

“Well try harder!”

Alex, Lily, and P-Sauce walk up to him

Alex

“So, uh, Ash right?”

Ash

“Oh, it’s you, ugh, what do you want?!”

Alex

“I wanna know why you think you’re so special, easy as that!”

Ash

“Oh, that’s it? Hmm... well I come from an extremely rich family, they were able to afford a fancy school like this after winning the lottery! Yeah, my sister wasn’t so lucky... she moved out like a month before...”

Cut to Anne and Safety Ninja

She suddenly starts shaking

Safety Ninja

“You okay?”

Anne (furious)

“I’m suddenly filled with rage, and don’t know what to do with it!”

Safety Ninja

“You wanna use... Jameson’s pillow?”

Anne (furious)

“Oh very much so!”

They run off

Cut back to Alex’s plotline

Ash

“Anyway yeah, why do you care anyway?”

Alex

“Oh no reason, besides one thing! You think you’re better than me!”

Ash

“Ha! I am better than you! Bet you get perks because you’re Malcom’s son!”

Alex

“I SPECIFIED NO PERKS!”

Ash

“BECAUSE THAT’S IN CHARACTER!”

Lily

“Whoa, guys! There’s gotta be a reasonable resolution to this! Alex, you’re sensible!”

Alex

“*sigh* Okay... look... I can do that... I CHALLENGE YOU TO A SPORTS MATCH!”

Lily facepalms

P-Sauce

“That was dumb, wow”

Ash

“Heh, name the sport!”

Alex

“Whatever you’re playing right now!”

Ash

“Bloodball? Heh! You’re on!”

They shake hands

Lily

“Oh good, you’re working it out... no? Is this... you’re doing the sp- you’re doing the sports...”

Cut back to The Randoms Elite

Ricardio walks back in

Ricardio

“Okay... you caught me... I stole it...”

Malcom

“We got that, but why?”

Ricardio

“It all started twelve years ago”

Malcom

“No it didn’t!”

Ricardio

“Okay fine! It all started last week!”

Malcom

“So... when I went to the mall?”

Ricardio

“THE DAY BEFORE!”

Sally

“This is just sad”

Jessie

“Seriously, why haven’t we fired him yet?”

Ricardio

“SHUT UP! So, I was working on a special deal, with a very important investor. His name was E-“

He pauses

Ricardio

“Ha! Evan! That’s the one, Evan Busington. So Evan was gonna invest into my casino, but then some elite robotic warriors from the future burst in and captured him!”

Malcom

“Uh-Huh....”

Ricardio

“I, only caring about myself, stole the time machine to save him!”

Malcom

“Really? Why did you throw it away then!”

Ricardio

“Was worried I’d get in trouble if you saw it had been used...”

Malcom

“Dang straight!”

Brief silence

Ricardio

“Uh, you didn’t by any chance look at the time machine’s search history when you found it, right?”

Malcom chuckles

Malcom

“No, I didn’t”

He leans back looking smug

Ricardio

“Great, I’ll be off then! I’m all meeting’d out! See ya!”

He leaves

Malcom turns to Sally

Malcom

“We gotta see the history on that machine!”

Sally

“What! But he confessed! But he’s also Ricardio, and that’s right up his alley!”

Malcom

“We gotta see￼ what’s on that thing! If he’s conspiring against me, this could be huge!”

Sally

“I agreed! Wasn’t that clear?”

Malcom

“Oh, right, let’s do this!”

They high five

Ricardio (distance)

“There’s some kinda invisible barrier!”

Tucker

“My bad”

Cut back to Alex, Lily and P-Sauce, in the playing field

Alex

“Okay, if we’re going to beat Ash Pencost, we need to train up! Does anyone know how to play Bloodball? At all?”

P-Sauce

“Uh actually, a few of my fellow rad Loyalists played it for fun one day, basically, you have these four big goals on each corner of the stadium. Then you gotta score in those goals, and you get points. Whoever has the most points wins!”

Lily

“Great! (Dead serious) Where’s the ‘blood’ part come in?”

P-Sauce

“On the playing field, anything goes. Horseplay is actually encouraged!”

Lily

“Not so great”

P-Sauce

“Nope!”

He winks, but it’s not clear as his hair covers one eye, so it looks like he just blinked really hard

Lily

“Uh-“

P-Sauce

“That was a wink, I was winking!”

Lily

“Oh”

Alex

“Okay guys, it’s time to train!”

Training montage, with a very dramatic training montage song blaring. Slowly, as it goes on, the cast gets distracted from Bloodball, until by the end they are doing something different entirely.

We settle on a shot of the group having a dance party dressed as pirates

Lily

“Wait, what are we doing?!”

P-Sauce

“Plank-walking!”

Lily

“Yeah, but... sports?!”

Alex

“Oh yeah, I feel like we lost track a little bit...”

P-Sauce

“Like a lot bit, so much bits, it’s insane”

Alex

“Yup”

Cut to them running across the field, P-Sauce trips and yells in pain

Alex

“P-Sauce! You okay?”

P-Sauce

“What? Yeah of course! I’ll be fine *snap* OOOOOOOOOOH, NOPE! NOPE! NOT OKAY!”

Lily

“My angel!”

P-Sauce

“No, I’ll be... I’ll be perfectly fine...”

Alex

“Oh gosh! It’s a three per team minimum! What do we do now?!”

Lily

“Do what we always do in times of strife!”

Cut inside, Paul’s office

Paul

“Would love to help, but I’m a bit busy right now!”

Shade

“Paul’s a bit busy right now!”

Alex

“Believe it or not, we could tell”

Shade

“Oh phew! However, if ya want more help for your ball thing-“

Alex

“Can we not call it that?”

Shade

“Sorry, Ball problem?”

Alex

“SHUT UP! Uh, look... maybe we should just hang up fliers or something? Hire kids for... sports?”

Lily

“Yeah, that’ll work! Let’s do that!”

Cut outside, they hang up fliers Napoleon Dynamite style

Later, Alex and Lily are waiting out on the bleachers, as Ash passes them

Ash

“Nice team, love the lack of people!”

Alex

“I actually hate him”

P-Sauce

“Guys, maybe we should just call this off? I’m in no shape to play, and all the other kids are bogus... and not athletic! Maybe this’ll end up wack...”

Alex

“Ugh... maybe you’re right... how could we even stand a chance against-“

P-Sauce

“WAIT! I FIGURED IT OUT! BE RIGHT BACK!”

He jumps up, and immediately collapses

P-Sauce

“Agh! Walk me, walk me!”

Cut back to Malcom and Sally, sneaking into the outlet mall

Sally

“This seems risky”

Malcom

“Yeah it’s risky! But so is leaving Ricardio unchecked! Let’s go!”

They run into the mall, burst into the staff room, terrifying an employee

Malcom

“I NEED A TIME MACHINE!”

Staff member

“Oh lord, you’re scary!”

Malcom

“TIME MACHINE!”

Sally

“COUGH IT UP BUTTER NUTS!”

Staff member

“It’s just on the desk, please go!”

Malcom runs over to it

Sally

“MUCH OBLIGED, YOU ARE A WONDERFUL HUMAN!”

Staff member

“Stop shouting!”

Sally

“YOU STOP SHOUTING!”

Malcom grabs the time machine, punches a staff member, turns over a table, then runs out

Sally

“BYE!”

Staff member

“WHAT IS HAPPENING?!”

Malcom and Sally get outside, and Malcom fiddles with the time machine

Sally

“Oh yeah! We’re getting answers! Woo!”

Malcom

“Holy cow!”

Sally

“What is it?!”

Malcom

“Ricardio traveled to some... random time that I can’t think has any significance... but y’know, it probably does”

Sally

“So... that’s probably bad?”

Malcom

“I’d say so, yes...”

Sally

“Hmm, but why would he do that?”

Malcom

“I don’t know yet, but we’re gonna find out! It’ll take awhile though, so for now, let’s head home!”

Malcom and Sally walk off

Cut to the playing field, Alex and Lily walk up to Ash, and his team

Ash

“So, where’s your team?”

Alex

“Oh, this team?”

P-Sauce’s gang walks up

Ash

“Whoa, what the-“

Alex

“Presenting, X-Thwacker, J-Sizzle, and M-C-Ham!”

X-Thwacker

“We would have invited Q-Depot, BUT HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID!”

The others nod

Alex

“Also known as, The Sauce Squad!”

P-Sauce is cheering from the stands

P-Sauce

“I know them! They’re my homies- ow! Cramps! Still in pain!”

Ash

“Whatever, let’s get this game started!”

Ash snaps his fingers, and the coach runs over

Coach

“Now I wanna see a nice clean game, PSYCH! It’s Bloodball, anything goes! Just win!”

He blows his whistle, as we get a good old fashion sports montage. The teams both running, we see both scoring goals, both struggling at times, both totally ruling at times. (Also various shots of P-Sauce cheering them on from the stands, always doing something to hurt himself even further)

Eventually it all comes down to one point, and Alex’s team gathers

Alex

“Alright team, we have one more point and we win!”

M-C-Ham

“Whoa gnarly!”

Alex

“Wow, that’s not 90s, I don’t know what that is”

M-C-Ham

“Aw...”

Lily

“How did we even manage to come this far?”

Alex

“Dumb luck! There was that one shot where Ash got attacked by a swan!”

Lily

“True!”

Alex

“Anyway, let’s just get back out there, and give it our all!”

The players return to the field

Coach

“Alright, game point in three, two, one, GO!”

The players run for the ball, Lily manages to grab it

Lily

“Hey! Not bad!”

Lily runs towards the goal, only for a massive worm to jump,out of the ground

Lily

“WEAGH!”

She ducks, the ball flying from her hands

Lily

“What the heck was that?!”

Coach

“Uh don’t you know? When one point is left we unleash a massive flesh eating worm? Doesn’t everyone know that?”

Lily

“Who invented this sport?! The asylum is always open!”

P-Sauce (distant)

“Yeah”

Alex catches the ball

Alex

“Whoa! I got it!”

Ash

“HEY!”

Alex turns, Ash is glaring at him

Ash

“Put down that ball!”

Alex

“AGH!”

Alex sprints off to the nearest goal post

Ash

“NO!”

He runs after Alex. Once he catches up, he tries grabbing the ball from Alex’s hands

Ash

“You’re not winning this!”

Alex

“Yes I am!”

Ash

“Oh sure, look at your shoelace!”

Alex

“I WEAR SLIP-ONS!”

Alex is right below the goal post, but Ash trips him, grabs the ball, and tosses it into the goal post.

Coach

“GAME SET! Ash’s team wins!”

Celebration horns go off

Alex

“I... lost?”

Ash

“Heh, shouldn’t be too surprised!”

Lily runs over

Lily

“Well, we tried. You did great though!”

P-Sauce runs over (is carried over by his gang)

P-Sauce

“Yo, Alex, Lily, you two were fire!”

Alex

“Aw, thanks dude!”

P-Sauce

“I love ya dude!”

Ash is glaring at them

Ash’s teammate

“I wish we had what they had...”

Ash

“Shut up!”

The coach walks over

Coach

“Hey Ash, your sister is here, picking you up”

Ash

“Fine”

Anne Pencost walks up to him, and punches him in the stomach

Ash

“Ow! Dude!”

Anne

“Yup, that’s what I needed”

Cut to the break room of Randoms INC, the team is hanging out, eating snacks, talking together, Lily and P-Sauce are looking very kinda romantic. Overall, a happy time.

THE END