The Official Scientist of Randoms INC - Transcript

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Chapter 8 - The Official Scientist of Randoms INC

Alex is walking down the hall of Randoms INC

He passes Shade

Alex

“Good morning”

Shade (too quickly)

“H-hi Alex!”

Alex

“You okay?”

Shade’s eye twitches

Shade

“Oh yeah, never felt more hot! Tim introduced m-me to coffee! It’s amazing! Wouldn’t you agree?”

Alex

“Wha- Yeah! Yeah absolutely! That’s not concerning at all!”

Shade

“Knew it!”

Shade slides off

Alex

“Okay, bye buddy! Something feels wrong... hmm...”

He opens a door to reveal the fears (from episode seven) having a disco

Alex

“That’s not it...”

He opens another door to reveal Tim and Lily fighting a giant foot with tiny arms and an ugly face

Tim

“Aim for the toe!”

Lily

“Which toe! There are five of them!”

Alex

“Noooo....”

He opens the door to Malcom’s office

Malcom is sitting nervously

Alex

“There it is! What’s up Malcom?”

Malcom

“What?”

Alex

“Last time you were this nervous you almost got murdered by vengeful sorcerers!”

Malcom

“No I-... Fair point... you remember that treasure we got from the temple of fear?”

Alex

“Yeah?”

Malcom

“I decided to hire a new scientist with the money!”

Alex

“A new scientist? What happened to the old one, Horace?”

Malcom

“He was-”

We see Porta, in a noir style. It’s raining, suddenly Malcom and two other silhouettes appear. There’s an explosion, then two of the silhouettes run back

Malcom

“I don’t like to talk about it

Alex

“Oh... so about the new scientist?”

Malcom

“What with the small fortune we earned, I decided to pay him $36K, per month!”

Alex

“Hmm... might wanna up it to 37...”

Malcom

“Will consider...”

Intro plays

Angle on CreaTech

???

“You need money for a what?!”

Inside, there’s video feed of some shadowy figures, these are the directors of villainous endeavors

Robert

“The CPad Lite, a cheaper version of the expensive CPad Pro”

Director

“Have you even considered that us, the directors of villainous endeavors, can’t afford to pay for your ridiculous gadgets?”

Robert

“Well I-“

Director

“You’re a weapons dealer, we don’t have time for your kind!”

Robert

“My kind? Without me you wouldn’t have anything for your endeavors”

Director

“Well, we have enough money to afford other weapons, it’s not like you’re the only weapons dealer! Ever heard of Ex-Lord?”

Robert

“In passing”

Director

“He’s a big shot! Way bigger than you!”

Robert

“Not the- whatever, goodbye directors...”

The video feed shuts off

CBot

“Umm... sir?”

Robert

“Not in the mood! I feel bored... I want to do something different, risky...”

CBot

“Like what?”

Robert

“I don’t know... I really hate Malcom, his escape cost me a fortune... not to mention, certain other events... hmm... my friends, I believe that it’s time for a little vengeance!”

Back at Randoms

Malcom, Alex and Shade (disguised as... himself, but a person) are sitting at a judges table, with buzzers and such. They are under a huge banner which says: “Randoms INC Scientist Auditions!”

Shade chugs a whole jug of coffee

Shade

“Where are these clowns? I gotta meet ‘em!”

Alex

“I am gonna punch Tim so hard...”

Malcom

“Welcoming our first competitor, Dr. Jacob Bubbles!”

He walks on stage

Jacob

“I am honored to work with the legendary Randoms INC! I will have been-“

Shade presses his buzzer, launching him away

Malcom

“Err... next up is... Professor Benny Foresser!”

Montage of different people trying out, showing off Potions, inventions and just being kinda stupid to be honest

Alex

“Pfft... only a few people left...”

Malcom

“Dr. Sameson? And his partner... (pained) Science Ninja.... please come on to the stage...”

Jameson and Safety Ninja in disguise walk onstage

Jameson

“I-“

Malcom presses his buzzer, head in his hands

Safety Ninja

“I soooo knew this would happen”

Jameson

“Not my best work...”

They get launched

Malcom

“I would feel bad for him... if he didn’t try to murder me every other day...”

Alex

“(Chuckles) next up is... Paul Proudfoot!”

Paul steps onstage with a bit of a strut

Paul

“Hello my good fellows, science is the name of the evening!”

Malcom eyes his buzzer (Shade has gotten drunk on coffee and is sorta out of it)

Paul

“I’m kidding! Let’s talk about what I’ll bring to the entire Randoms science department!”

Malcom looks mildly amused (okay... let’s see where this goes...)

Paul

“I’ll remodel, use only the finest tools, honor what Randoms stands for, speak in concise sentences and... I’ll pay for the renovations!”

Malcom

“He’ll pay?!”

Malcom hits the golden buzzer

Paul

“Nice! I didn’t even mention the fact that I have tiny cameras disguised as buttons”

Paul and Malcom shake hands

Malcom

“Welcome to the team!”

Tim and Lily burst in

Tim

“We heard about the auditions! *pant* we wanted to watch!”

Lily

“They’re already over, aren’t they?”

Malcom

“Yep... Say hello to mr-“

Paul

“Paul Proudfoot! Science extraordinaire! Soon to be largest paranormal investigation owner!”

Malcom

“What?”

Paul

“I kid! I know about your rivalries!”

Malcom

“Oh yeah, I have a lot of those...”

Tim

“Jameson Mameson, Laura Boyer... just to name a couple...”

Malcom

“Those are the main ones right now... I’ve fought worse, mind you... I just beat them already!”

Brief silence

Malcom

“Why’d I just get a weird sensation of- never mind! Let me show you to your department!”

Cut to the doors to the Science Department

The doors fly open

Malcom

“This is where you’ll be working!”

Paul

“Whoa!”

A massive lab is revealed, filled with all kinds of gadgets

Paul

“I don’t think this’ll need much renovation...”

Malcom

“Well, you’ll pay for the necessary renovations, right?”

Paul

“Yeah, of course”

Malcom

“Cool, enjoy your time here!”

Malcom leaves

Paul

“Bye! Good luck with the rivals!”

Cut to Tim and Lily

Tim

“I can’t believe we were late for the auditions!”

Lily

“Eh, I don’t really mind. Besides, we had to kill that foot!”

Tim

“Yeah... Hmm... hey, wanna do something reckless?”

Lily

“Yeah!”

Tim

“Okay, come with me!”

They walk past some employees (including Nick)

Nick

“Ho ho ho, where are those two off to?”

They run to a big metal door

Tim

“Behold! The most mysterious room in all of Randoms!”

Lily

“What is it though?”

Tim

“It’s the- let’s see!”

Tim tries to open it, but it remains closed

Tim

“Dang... if only we had someone who could think outside the box...”

Tim and Lily think for a moment, then their faces light up and they smirk

Paul is decorating the lab (placing a potted cactus)

Paul

“Ah, already feels like home!”

Tim and Lily burst in

Tim

“Paul! We need your help!”

Lily

“It’s urgent!”

Paul

“Um... okay! I’ll assist! What do you need?”

Cut outside the door

Paul tries to open it, but he fails

Tim

“Oh... well that was anticl-

Paul pulls out a death ray and melts the door

Tim and Lily look awestruck

Lily (in awe)

“That was amazing”

Paul

“Aw, it was nothing!”

Tim

“Shall we?”

Lily

“We shall, after you!”

Tim

“No! After you!”

Lily enters

Lily

“Thank you friend”

Tim looks annoyed for a moment

Tim

“Yes... friend”

He enters

Paul

“Have fun! Don’t die!”

Paul walks off

Cut to Alex and Shade, in the cafeteria

Alex

“Would you consider decaf?”

Shade

“That’s what I had!”

Alex

“Oh... I’m scared, no caffeine for you”

Shade

“That’s a thing?”

Paul walks in

Paul

“This is where we eat?”

Alex

“Yeah... why?”

Paul

“It’s very comfy looking!”

Alex

“Yeah, we have tv too!”

Paul

“Ooh, show me!”

Alex

“Ok”

He puts on a sports game

Cut to Robert typing on a supercomputer, CBot bodyguards behind him

Robert

“Randoms’ll be in for quite the surprise! Just watch!”

Back with Tim and Lily

Lily

“So what is this place?”

Tim

“This room is Malcom’s collection!”

Lily

“Wait what?!”

The lights turn on, revealing awesome relics

Lily

“WHA!”

Tim

“Yep, pretty cool huh?”

Lily

“Yeah... wow... I wonder if we should touch anything...”

Tim

“Hmmmm... no, probably not worth- wait... is that-“

Lily

“What?”

Tim is gawking at a small cd case

Tim

“That’s Malcom...”

Lily

“Hold on, what?!”

The cd case is has a picture of Malcom singing, with the title “Mr. Silva: Heartbreakers”

Tim

“Lily... I really wanna touch it...”

Lily

“Me too...”

They look at each other, then shout in pain

Cut to Robert, still typing

Robert

“Aaaaand done! Time for that old hack to get hacked!”

Back to the cafeteria

The tv goes fuzzy

Alex

“What the?”

Suddenly the lights go out (classic floating eyeballs scene)

Alex

“AGH! WHAT’S HAPPENING?!”

Paul

“I’m not sure... perhaps a power surge?”

Alex

“How do we get the power back?”

Paul

“The fuse box... I suppose...”

Alex

“That’s downstairs, let’s go Shade”

Shade

“I can’t.... I’m everywhere now...”

Alex

“Okay... wow...”

They exit

They walk through the blackness

Alex

“I think the stairs are over h- ow! That’s a wall!”

Paul

“You don’t know do you?”

Alex

“Nope”

Paul

“Don’t worry... I memorized the layout”

Alex

“How?”

Paul

“Uh... I don’t really know myself... anyway, stairs are over here!”

Cut, lights are back, Paul’s messing with the fuse box in the lobby

Paul

“That’ll do it!”

Alex

“Nice!”

Paul

“*sigh* good... everything’s fine!”

Zoom out, CBots are everywhere

Alex

“WHAT THE?!”

Robert walks over

Robert

“Hello Alex, this place belongs to me now! I hacked into the building’s security system, I’m gonna take all of Malcom’s treasured artifacts!”

Paul

“That’s illegal”

Robert

“I wouldn’t worry about that, being the richest man in Porta City has perks! I’m untouchable! Ha ha! Get to it CBots!”

The CBots run off

Alex

“Oh gosh...”

Back at the treasure room, Tim and Lily are still having a stroke

Lily

“I MUST SEE IT!”

Tim

“I know! But we can’t!”

Malcom is right behind them

Malcom

“Why are you two here?”

Tim

“Uuuuuuuh”

Malcom

“Good answer, out!”

Tim

“Can you explain-“

Malcom

“No!”

Tim

“Please?”

Malcom

“Certainly not!”

Lily

“I’ll pay you in blood man! Just let us see!”

Malcom

“*breathes in* fine...”

He puts the cd into a tv on a nearby pedestal

The 80s music video plays, in fuzzy, slightly pixelated glory

Malcom (onscreen)

“(Wincy lyrics)”

After it ends, Tim and Lily look dumbfounded

Malcom

“Yeah... not my proudest work”

Tim

“Dude... that was amazing... in the worst way possible...”

Lily

“Can I have this forever?”

Malcom

“HA HA HA! No”

Back into the lobby

Robert is examining a potted plant

Robert

“Seriously... this is cheap, how can you stand looking at this?!”

Paul (whispering)

“Alex, don’t worry! I have a plan”

Alex

“Good! Hurry!”

Paul

“Okay. HEY ROBOTS!”

The CBots turn

CBot

“What?”

Paul

“Don’t take our treasure”

CBot

“Too bad”

Paul

“Ah, that’s unfortunate. Guess I’ll have to-“

He pulls out his death ray and zaps a CBot

It melts

Robert turns

Robert

“What was that?! Huh”

Paul winks at Alex and then shoots another CBot

Robert

“No! Stop him, stop him!”

The others try to stop Paul, but are all easily destroyed (some by death ray, others by Paul grabbing them and slamming them into each other)

Alex looks awestruck

Robert looks horrified

Robert

“Uh-“

Paul

“Yes, goodbye!”

Robert

“I-“

He runs

Alex

“That was just the coolest thing I have witnessed in my entire life!”

Paul

“Yes, yes it was! Also, I was recording the whole thing!”

Alex

“How?”

Paul pulls off a small button

Paul

“Hidden cameras!”

Alex

“Whoa, we should upload the footage! Expose Robert!”

Paul

“Yeah, that’s a good idea!”

Cut to Robert, in his office

Robert

“That was disgraceful”

He turns on his computer and sees a video titled “Robert Eager Exposed! (Not Clickbate) (Seriously)”

Robert

“Okay...”

He clicks it

The more he watches the more horrified he looks

Robert

“That’s unnerving... well, hopefully it doesn’t have many- 30M VIEWS!?”

CBot

“That’s not physically possible, the video’s only been up for two hour-“

Robert shoots him, before looking further enraged

The End